Thursday, November 05, 2009

Well before my first love

As a child, I collected and studied the butterflies quite seriously. As a result, I learned to recognize and identify most of the species to be observed in and near Tokyo. Sometimes, it is difficult to tell which species while the insect is in flight. But quite often, it is easy to tell the name of the butterfly while it is airborne.

It is the natural instinct of a boy to look for rare species. When you see an unusual butterfly, your heart started to throb.

Sometimes quite violently, too. You wanted to capture the butterfly with the net, but you might also fail. If the butterfly escapes your net, it could well be that you would never see it again.

The moment you see a desirable one, the drama starts. You are in a suspension whether your wishes are going to be fulfilled.

Thus, I learned the sweet anxiety of waiting for the verdict well before my first love.

2 comments:

(ma)gog said...

"The sweet anxiety of waiting for the verdict", this has reminded me of the very feeling I used to have.

The world appeared glorious, yet there was always a lack of confindence behind the full of expectations.

砂山鉄夫(Tetsu Sunayama) said...

Yes, each one of us might be a dreamer or a traveler seaching for his or her own butterfly...