Friday, June 17, 2011

The Octopus Woman of Wales

I stayed in England for two years, and have been returning to the country ever since. I found the English true to the reputation world wide. Reserved, masters of understatements.

Therefore it was a shock to learn an alternative culture different from the English. One day I traveled to Wales. I got on the train to reach Cardiff. On the way to St. David's, Britain's smallest city, I dropped off the station and went into a pub.

The pub was fairly crowded at the middle of the day. There was a group of people near the window, making a merry music. A man was playing the guitar, and men and women were singing to the music. As I look back, that scene itself was already a rarity, to an eye accustomed to the English reservedness.

I found a seat at the bar, and sipped a pint of local ale. The music making folks had apparently been drinking quite a few pints of beer themselves, judging from the merriment of their noise.

Suddenly, a woman stood up, and started walking. She came towards me dancing, moving her arms and legs like an octopus. As she passed by me, something incredible happened. She grabbed my private part, squeezed it, and went on walking, dancing like an octopus.

I was naturally shocked and was still aghast, when the woman returned from the restroom. She was still dancing like an octopus. I anticipated a repeat.

My anticipation went unanswered. The victim this time was a gentleman sitting a few stools away. The octopus woman walked dancing, and grabbed the private part of that gentleman, squeezed it, and went back to the music group, dancing like an octopus.

People laughed, the gentleman laughed, and I laughed at last, recovering from repercussions of the unknown. Maybe things were different in Wales. Take it easy, and let things go. After a few pints and a bathing in the sun of a golden afternoon, I began to understand the Welsh way of life.

I have encountered many strange things in my life, but my private part has been squeezed by a woman only once. Here's to the octopus woman of Wales.


goldvalley725 said...

This story is just so funny. I can vividly envisage this woman dancing like an octopus in the crowded pub and grabbing people's private parts as she wished. I lived in England for 7 years but wouldn't have been particularly shocked had I seen this octopus woman in a pub there. To me, there was little difference beteen the Welsh and English way of life.

(ma)gog said...

I remember reading this episode of yours sometime ago in the qualia journal.
Truly you had an extraordinary memorable experience once in a lifetime!
I haven't been to countryside pubs for decades, and I miss that carefree easy-going atmosphere (and pints of pints of lager)so much!!

brit mikagami said...

haha! i really chuckled reading this! i daresay we should go on a mission to grab an unsuspecting person's privates one time --- or not. you know how everyone sues everybody else these days. maybe i shall go to wales instead.