Tuesday, April 13, 2010

High school dreams.

Though my present life style is hectic and occupied, it does not have a regular schedule. I don't go to the office at 8 o'clock every day. I am working incessantly, on the train, on the floor, under the tree, at the desk, in the classroom, in the studio, everywhere.

And yet, as where I would be physically on a given day varies so much, the only thing I can say for sure is that I would be connected.

Probably due to this status quo that has been going on for the last 10 years or so, I sometimes have a repeating dream. I am back in the senior high school, and with a horror of the moment of truth I realize that I have not been attending the classes for a long time. I think to myself, oh, what am I going to do? Maybe I will be expelled from school, perhaps now graduation is impossible.

Then I wake up, and realize that the high school days are long gone. Remorse mixed with a strange sweetness fills my heart. Yet another episode of my high school dreams is over.

In actuality, I attended my high school quite regularly, apart from breaks of a few days due to cold and flu. So the dreams distort the facts and memories, and probably reflect my deep psychology.

Although I wouldn't describe these dreams as nightmares, they do leave certain impressions on me. It is not that I am yearning for a regular life. I do enjoy the variety in my works. Most probably the dreams reflect my unrealized yearnings.

4 comments:

r-c.pce said...

That's quite a Freudian way of looking things. I actually did "skip" a lot of stuff during high school and college--quite the opposite from you. I enjoy freedom and I live for it. Work is merely secondary to me...I think that's how it should be!

Yuzu said...

Dear: Mr.Mogi
I believe that your life is splendid.
"Now, from here to all places"
Does your work reflect some unrealized yearnings?
Dr.Umehara gave you some hints.
How you are a wonderful artist.

Anonymous said...

It is interesting how society makes a distinction between work and personal life. For me, there is no distinction. What I do for a living (aka work) is simply an expression of who I am (or who I choose to be), it is my passion.

TED said...

This short essay has reminded me of a life about high school students in Japan. I think many of them are studying hard to succeed in passing the stiff entrance examination for a number of prestigious national universities because their future depends too much on the unversities that they graduate from. These days many Japanese younger generation find it very difficult to find a stable job opportunity amid the poor economic performance resulting from the recession in the United States.To survive the global competition many Japanese companies are seeking for young people who have creativity, vitality, higher academical knowledge and broder perspective. Students who have graduated from the prestigeous universities are offered a passport to lead a meaningful and happier life for their future. Therefore they spend much time in developing and expanding their knowledge only to pass the entrance examination. The important thing is that whether japanese high school students will succeed in life or not depends too much on how they spend their high school life efficiently and meaningfully.They struggle to attain higher examination score every day at schools and cram schools because they must compete with their classmates or examinee on the national scale.This situation contributes to widening the gap between the higher level students and the lower level students. Therefore it is very difficult for the latter to have a dream and hope for their future. Some of them lose their passion in continuing their study and others suffer from mental illness. In the worst case they commit suicide. Unfortunately in Japan it is not too much to say that the destiny of younger generation is determined in the early stage of their life cycle.